Sometimes it's really scary how people changes, how people can turn so tragically different in such a short time. I don't know if I can trust anyone, I think there is a rule in life that says if one starts putting hope or trust on someone/something, it will eventually fall apart. But life goes on doesn't it, people come and go, feelings come and go.
And it's really sad sometimes being me. I keep my feelings within so much. I've learned that it's better this way. Because honestly, no one cares, or they do care, but what exactly are they thinking while caring, what they said regarding your situation, is it out of sincerity or sympathy? Maybe that is why I don't talk much about my hidden feelings anymore, I used to write in a locked journal, but I don't even write in there anymore. I just bottle everything inside of me and once in a while, I break down.. completely.
2010 really sucked for me. And 2011 thus far, isn't good. I've changed so much compared to last year, at least I think I did. I learned to guard my heart guard my feelings guard myself. Love? Loved. Or am still loving. I don't know. All I know is that I don't wish to. I am just slowing turning into a living soul with no feelings and it's not good but there is nothing I can do about it. Life goes on right? Even if you hate it, even if you choose to ignore this and that, life still fucking goes on and you just gotta live with it and hope that someday you wake up and bam! That person in your heart disappears. Story of my life.
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