Define this

I can't seem to find that fire in love anymore. What is love? I've lost all interest in boys, love, or relationships in general. What is this? I'm not a person to give up easily. But I'm so tired. I've been single for 5 years and in these years, I've met 4 different person. They taught me so many ways on how not to trust the next person. Good and bad times but bad times seems to strike more.

Then I thought about you, F. I told myself, I told people around me that I don't love you anymore. But is it the case? I've convinced them and now I'm left with myself to convince. Is it that love is gone or that there are too many variables that point me to the pathway which love no longer exists between us. I'm left with thoughts of you not trying to make the best out of us. You didn't try. You didn't fight. You didn't make me feel worthwhile. You didn't love me. You think you love me. But that's not what love is. You didn't. I still ponder if what you said is true. Did you really cry because I left you? Did you? It's not that I don't believe in you. You made me not to. You didn't try to make me believe in you. I have too many doubts. Love love love, what is it for? Absolute nothing.

Done

You're the one person that taught me the clear definition of what loving someone shouldn't be like. The Nots of love.

You showed me all the reasons a person that speaks of love so fondly shouldn't do. Love isnt all words. It's never just the words. Your words did work on me. It did kept me going for almost a year, with just your words. Thats just me being blinded by love. By your so called love. And it led to my so called faith.

I'm not blaming you. Actually, I'm thanking you. Though I didn't receive the kind of love you said or the kind that I yearn for. I'm happy that I met you. For, you did make me really happy. It also showed me all the clear definitions of love and what not to fall for the next time. I thank you. Sincerely.