F

I am very demanding, very sensitive, very angst, very petty

But I do feel for you. And as much as I say this on a frequent basis on this space. Every each time, I mean it. Even him, someone I am sort of dating now, tells me that if it wasn't the 'me' he been with for 2 months now, he would still see me as the girl that is wild, carefree, gives no two fucks about boys or feelings

Well, I am.
I don't care about most things. Or rather, I choose not to care.
Most of the time, life works better when you choose not to care.

But I do care. I care for those that I think are worth caring for. Like F. This thing we have is irony. There is no future. But yet a little girl in me holds on to that hope. Each time I want to give up on him, let go of him, I struggle. And I can't help it. There are so many points of him that refuses to let that logical bitch in me do the thinking

I don't know if I love him. Maybe I do. Maybe I don't. We exchanged such sweet nothings. But I don't think he meant it. And the worst part is, I don't think I meant it. So what is this? Is this love? Or is this yet again my desperate attempt looking for my Ocean.