I am so sorry

I am sorry that I have blurred us, but I am most sorry that my fingers have had to fight off the urge to call you lover in this poem,

Sorry that I do not write poetry anymore unless it is with your ghost.
To my old friend whom I shall never address as anything else,

I am sorry that I fell in love with a version of you that I invented.
I am sorry that I will never again know you, me, or us.
I do not know, my friend, if I am sorry about what I let waste away.